CHANGING THE “WEAK WOMAN” STEREOTYPE
What can be done to prevent domestic violence?
Report by Karla Darocas
April 06

It is sad to say, but violence is a cultural and social fact. History and present day stereotypes continue to identify men as the dominant force and women as the submissive sex.

According to a study by the Women’s Foundation of Spain, 23% of adolescents between the ages of 14 and 17 years conceive women as the lower and weaker species. This generational labeling is slowly dropping but it is frightening to find that it still exists in this modern European climate. It probably has something to do with the fact that until May 2^nd, 1975, the Spanish civil code demanded that women remain, by law, obedience to their husbands.

Over the past couple of years, Spain’s legal and social systems have worked hard to rapidly put new laws into place, which help protect women from these cultural abnormalities, however domestic violence continues. Unfortunately, Spanish women continue to fear the social “embarrassment” of denouncing their husbands as aggressors.

Modern times or not, domestic aggression and murder continues to plague our communities and it isn’t only Spanish women who are victims. Recently in Torrevieja, a British woman was brutally murdered by her spouse. This reinforces the drastic need for educational systems and the media to apply a concentrated effort to change the “weak woman” stereotypes.

Organizations such as the WIBC (Women in Business Club) have made it there mandate to promote women as “powerful” business leaders. Since their inception in May of 2004, the club members have actively championed the cause by hosting tradeshows, festivals, socials and fundraisers in order to raise awareness about the issues surrounding domestic violence and monies to support protection shelters. To learn more about the WIBC – visit their website – www.WIBC-SPAIN.com

How do you recognize a domestic violent situation?

If there is physical abuse with markings to the face, arms, legs and hands of the victim, then there are no doubts. However, many things can be detected before this phase arrives.

Aggressors tend to have very controlling personalities. They demand to know all the aspects of the life of their victims, especially where they are going, who are they with, how they are dressing, how much money is being spent, if they get telephone calls, if they speak down and rudely to the victim and deprive them of self worth by insulting them in public.

There are other antecedents to violent conduct in aggressors, such as their sudden flights into rage, acts of cruelty to animals, lack of repentance when in the wrong, slow to think in a conscious way about others, plus aggressors always think that they are right about all situations and that what they say is the truth.

Does the aggressor ask to be forgiven?

Aggressors will often hit their victims and then ask to be forgiven by promising that they will change. According to psychologists, promises of change are a phase and not a reality. This type of aggressor traps its victims into a cycle of violence. The aggressor hits and mistreats, then asks to be forgiven and even buys gifts for the victim. Each time, the season of calm gets shorter, and the violence becomes more frequent. The only form of change is to break this cycle.

Does the victim take all the blame?

Many victims blame themselves because their self-esteem has been beaten down by repeated episodes of psychic and physical aggression. According to psychologists, often that feeling of guilt in the victim stems from a patriarchal family structure: the man is the one who exercises the authority in the family and the woman feels guilty to disobey him. Don’t be fooled: abuse has no justification.

Is the victim emotionally dependent?

It is very frequent that the victim is living a “remote” life because the aggressor will not let the victim build outside relationships. The victim develops a link to the aggressor that is difficult to break as she has become emotionally dependent. The aggressor becomes the world to the victim, the father and the child, and she continues to love him.

TELEPHONE NUMBERS YOU SHOULD KNOW

Police (091) or the Civil Guard (062)
Emergency (112)
Javea Social Services - 96 579-4142
Denia Social Services - 96 579-0100
Torrevieja Social Services - 96 670 6666
InfoDona 900 580 888 - Toll Free

There are programmes underway to have these and other emergency numbers staffed with English speaking operators – however in the meantime you must learn HOW-TO ASK FOR HELP IN SPANISH!

Help Me! - Ayúdeme – (pronounced – ah-u-da-may)

My name is - Mi nombre es - (pronounced – mee nom-bray ehs)